Our refusal to retaliate does not mean we agree with the disagreeable thing. The child does not agree with the parent, but still, in patience, obeys him. The husband really does not agree with his wife's infidelity, but still bears the wrong with patience. However, because the husband's disagreeable thing is evil, the husband has an obligation the child does not: to change the disagreeable thing. The child cannot morally change the parent's orders, since the parent is right. However, since the wife is (very) wrong, the husband can go about changing it and in fact has an obligation to change it, just because the thing is wrong. He has an obligation to God, as her husband, to get his wife to heaven. That obligates him to eliminate the thing that is disagreeable to him, even though, in patience, he must not retaliate against it.
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