O Lord Thou shalt open my lips and my mouth shall declare Thy praise.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Seriously? Do You Really Need To Practice Having Sex?

I love the smell of gunpowder in the morning. Let's blast some sins, shall we?

Over at Voces Traditionis, JaneK, who has been married for 31 years next week and stayed chaste before marriage, blasts the concept of sex before marriage and concubinage as offering little advantage and defends chastity as having great rewards without loosing much. I instantly like her. Defending the Church's teachings on sex and blasting sexual sins is one of the easiest ways to gain my respect. She did not value chastity but her husband did while they were dating and insisted on waiting until marriage. Without being caught up in lust and pleasing each other, they were free to develop the other areas of their relationship. That includes communication skills: being open about everything with each other and hiding nothing. Once a couple develops that skill, sex becomes so much easier. One does not need practice. Sex is simple. It's easy to learn. Usually, it's a little too easy. Practice my foot. Having a healthy sexual relationship depends on communication. If the two spouses have good communication, are open with each other, give constant feedback to each other, and are considerate of one another, then they don't need to worry about performing well or needing practice. The less they communicate, the more awkward and uncoordinated they will be.

Basically couples have two paths to choose from. Either they can have sex before marriage, practicing their sexual skills so that they are in good shape by the time their married at the expense of other aspects of their relationship, which greatly weakens the relationship overall and greatly increases the chance of splitting up, all the while degrading each other's bodies as objects of pleasure and becoming addicted to using the other's body for pleasure (which further weakens the relationship) instead of respecting the body as the Creator's work of art. Or... They can remain chaste before marriage, developing all aspects of their relationship except sex, which would include communication and telling each other everything (which greatly strengthens the relationship), which then when they're married allows them to have sex in a skilled and pleasing way immediately without any previous experience whatsoever (because they hide nothing from one another), all the while they have learned to respect the body as beautiful art and not an object of pleasure (since they haven't been having sex), which greatly increases respect for one another and further strengthens the relationship. It's their choice. They can do things either way. Oh, and the first way leads to Hell and the second to Heaven. Yea, there's that too.