O Lord Thou shalt open my lips and my mouth shall declare Thy praise.

Monday, May 23, 2011

The Gift of Self to the Divine Bridegroom

During the Easter Season I'll be bringing you gems from St. Faustina's Diary, after reading it for Lent.
Diary of St. Faustina, 1318
O my Jesus, in thanksgiving for Your many graces, I offer You my body and soul, intellect and will, and all the sentiments of my heart. Through the vows, I have given myself entirely to You; I have then nothing more that I can offer You. Jesus said to me, "My daughter, you have not offered Me that which is really yours." I probed deeply into myself and found that I love God with all the faculties of my soul and, unable to see what it was that I had not yet given to the Lord, I asked, "Jesus, tell me what it is, and I will give it to You at once with a generous heart." Jesus said to me with kindness, "Daughter, give Me your misery, because it is your exclusive property." At that moment, a ray of light illumined my soul, and I saw the whole abyss of my misery. In that same moment I nestled close to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus with so much trust that even if I had the sins of all the damned weighing on my conscience, I would not have doubted God's mercy but, with a heart crushed to dust, I would have thrown myself into the abyss of Your mercy. I believe, O Jesus, that You would not reject me, but would absolve me through the hand of Your representative.
What do we keep the most secret? What part of us do we share with no one and keep the most private? It is our fears. It is our heartbreaks. It is our disappointments. It is the times we have been defeated. We keep them secret as our biggest embarrassments. We are afraid to share them even with God. God gave us all the tools we needed to succeed, yet we failed. God never lets us be tempted beyond our ability to fight temptation. God always is offering the grace to break even the greatest addictions. It is when we worry and get scared that we won't succeed that we start to fail. God gave us what we needed to succeed and yet we still failed. We wasted what He gave us and did not make the most efficient use of it.

Now we are miserable. Now we are afraid to face even Him. We are miserable because we failed at something in the past or because something in the present is failing fast. We cling to our misery our of embarrassment. We cannot face even God as He is the one that offered us the means to succeed and we either rejected His offer or didn't use His resources efficiently. In order to get out of this mess, we need to offer ourselves up to God. We need to let God take ourselves, let Him turn us into whatever He wants, and let Him decide the outcome. The innermost part of us is our misery, as we have said. When you give yourself completely to another person, you give even the most private parts to yourself, your deepest darkest secrets that are for only you to know. When bride and groom give their bodies to each other, they give the whole body, even the most private part, in the marital embrace. So it is with giving ourselves to God. We share even our deepest secrets and worries with God, letting Him take them and fix them. We give everything to God. We let Him take it and change it however He wants. It is at that point that we succeed.