O Lord Thou shalt open my lips and my mouth shall declare Thy praise.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Open Season on Cohabitation

When it comes to cohabitation, I have an itchy trigger finger. CatholicVote has also chimed in on the evil of cohabitation. Of course this is going to mean a good amount of red ink:
Cohabitation is bad, bad, bad. [Some people are offended by the idea of condemning sin. I however enjoy hearing it treated for what it truly is: evil that degrades human beings.]

Contrary to the popular notion that it provides couples a chance to “test drive” marriage, it actually results in lower marriage rates, more break-ups, harms women (who almost always get the short end of the deal), [The stats don't lie.] and generally creates a terrible human mess for a couple trying to live as one while not actually committing to live as one or to make the sacrifices that are necessary to become one in marriage. (Just look at this infographic.) [Go ahead, look. It's a nightmare separating bank accounts, credit cards, investments and such when you inevitably break up because you didn't give your relationship a proper foundation by getting married in a self-less act of self-sacrifice for each other. Instead you males wanted more time with her for more sex and you girls wanted more time with him because you thought it would be more romantic. You each selfishly wanted to take one type of pleasure or another out of the other person. All the numbers linked above don't lie. A solid foundation for a relationship is wanting to sacrifice yourselves for each other. That's love. If you loved each other, you would have gotten married because that's what marriage is: sacrificing yourselves to each other for each other's sake. Instead you weren't sure about marriage. You wanted a "test drive" You hesitated. That's one of the characteristics of love (i.e. the love I just linked to), you're absolutely sure. If you're not sure, you're not in love. That hesitation is caused by a poor foundation of wanting enjoyment instead of self-sacrifice for the other. That self-sacrifice is what marriage really is. Everything else is a man-made parody of marriage and, since marriage is a Sacrament, a sacrilege.]

And yet, young Catholic couples will tell you how often in Catholic pre-Cana retreats and preparation the presumption of the staff who runs them is that the couples are already sleeping together (and cohabiting). Often the matter is not even raised seriously. [Of course far too many in the Church tolerate sin, as if no one ever goes to Hell...]

Archbishop Michael Sheehan of Sante Fe, NM, however, is trying to do something about this state of affairs (ahem). [...but some of us have enough faith and fortitude to live in reality.]

[...]

This isn’t about judging, this is about showing people the best way to be happy and fulfilled.
[Plain and simple. We get upset because we know that you go to Hell for doing this and we don't want you in Hell. We are looking out for your good loooooong term. God designed marriage as a mutually self-sacrificing union that uses physical expressions of that union to beget new life and then uses that same union as a soft, safe, warm cradle for raising that new life. But no. People had to go out and reduce relationships to mutual manipulation where the male is looking to take advantage of the girl's body for his own pleasure and she is trying to take advantage of him to get romantic pleasure. There is no self-sacrifice on the part of either of them. This is no place to raise a child. It's a manipulative union that degrades the human person to an object of pleasure and since God is not there uniting them, it does not have the strength to last. Only the Catholic Sacrament of Marriage is permanent. Every other union is breakable. This is why we make a fuss. What God was trying to give you (contrary to your will) is more beneficial to you than what you are trying to give yourself. It is more beneficial, fulfilling, stronger, and longer lasting. But no, you rejected that in favor of easy pleasure.]
He links to Fr. Z's welcome reception of Abp. Sheehan's statement and ensuing shots on the mortal sin of cohabitation. Thank God for bishops like Abp. Sheehan. We need more.